Is it disrespectful to our daughter if we as parents are civil to her boyfriend during a breakup?

My daughter and her boyfriend were in the process of calling it quits and I told them both to keep their chins up and move on respectfully and end it civil. I don't dislike him because he works, pays his bills and we were told he was good to her and her two sons. He did things as a family, took them all fishing, did boy things and now my daughter thinks that being nice or civil to him is disrespecting her. I told both of them the same thing by writing to both of them at the same time to prove the relationship is not one sided. Money was borrowed to them together but we are waiving that just to have closure and end on civil terms because we always try to make the best of any situation because we never know when we will meet that person again. Now we received an email stating we disrespected her by talking civil to him.